friends and dear Jesus..

recently, i've been attempting to play the guitar again. I was pretty bummed when i got to Baltimore, via car, and realized that i could have brought my guitar along since i'd driven, but had instead, walked right by it a dozen times at my parents home and left without it. When I got to my house here, though, I was quite excited to find that my roommate's girlfriend left her guitar here while she was in grad school up north, they're both totally generous and don't care at all if i play it.. so I do!

I'm not a horrible guitarist. I mean, I'm slightly more skilled than Phoebe, but I more than pale in comparison to my eldest brother! ;) I prefer picking over strumming and i can follow along with the tablatures on the internet for some of my favorite artists (over the rhine, ben harper, etc). But... more often than any other song I've ever attempted to play, I know I've played "Friends" and "Dear Jesus" twice as much. If you're a past Grace-camper you know exactly what i mean.. if you're not, you'll have to read on!

I grew up at a Lutheran church in small-town Iowa, that had an incredibly strong and active youth group. My parents, who had learned to play guitar while my dad was in the Air Force in SD, became counselors of the youth group in 1983 and helped lead music for NYG's, summer camp, winter camp, Sunday school, choirs, Bible school, vespers, etc.

Life in the LYF was a family affair! My older brothers were members soon they were helping lead music, as well. My younger brother and I got to tag along to summer camp since the rest of our family was there, and hang out with the few other younger kids around... and those are some of my favorite childhood memories. It was like having a hundred older siblings who loved, cared for, played with, and protected me.

Anyway, back to the guitar.. I do believe that my parents random decision in the mid 70's to learn guitar has had a lasting affect on the rest of the entire family. Their involvement in the youth program shaped our childhood, and all four of us have also learned to play guitar to some degree, granted, we range (widely) in ability. Nonetheless I find it completely beautiful that all of us have somehow or another, tried to play the instrument we watched our parents play together as we grew up.

There was one music book the youth group used.. it was blue plastic/vinyl cover with 100-some pages of songs. We sang often, morning devos, evening vespers, Bible studies, etc.. and we generally sang the same 20 or so songs but we always closed the gathering with the two songs, "Friends" and "Dear Jesus."

These two beautiful songs have very similar chord structures and are easy to play, so they were most likely the first two songs i learned. I took one of my parents' song books to Concordia with me and when I got homesick (which was every day for the first semester!) I'd thumb through and attempt to make myself feel at home with the old music. I really can't even begin to guess how many times and places, that in my years as a pre-member, member, song leader, sunday school teacher, counselor, college student, etc.. i've sung those songs.

So.. last night, when my arms were tired, my fingers were burning and creativity was lackluster, i fell back against my pillows, guitar in hand.. and as i started strumming out "Friends," singing quietly in my room, fifteen years of memories flooded my heart.. starting with the oldest memories of my parents playing, then my brothers, then the years when i was in LYF. Many of my friends, some who didn't even belong to the same church, knew these songs.

I am eternally grateful for all the ways Grace LYF shaped my life, as well as my family, as a child, teen, and college student... and I wish I could give every child what I was blessed with in being a child in that church, with those amazing parents, beautiful friends, camp fires, and the music.. this music. I wish I could share that with everyone. For now, though, I'll sing to myself, in my room, on my bed-on-the-floor, as I travel nurse in Maryland and let my heart float back to all those places its been when i've sung this song...

"and I thank you, I thank you God, for all of my friends...."