growing wings..

Yesterday I got the phone call that everything.. everything.. is official. I'm officially a travel nurse traveling to california to begin my position on June 4th. i'm officially leaving the city i've called home for 8 years.

and tears well up in my eyes..

my heart is aching...

I know! I'm crazy, absolutely silly! I haven't even started packing, yet I'm futuristically mourning. I have two months to enjoy, to embrace this amazing town and the people in it before I move, but the uncertainty of if and when I'll ever live here again is.... well, its daunting.

the tears are falling now..

i can barely articulate the wealth of memories that have left me passionately in love with a city, because of the people i've met whilst in it, i've lived. :)

I may have been raised in DeWitt, but I grew up... in St. Paul. I didn't realize, when I moved into Luther 2North, on August 22, 1999 (thanks, ing, life is praise!), how young I was, how much I had to learn, how many adventures lied ahead. I cried the day I moved in, when i said goodbye to Mom, Dad, and Dylan .. and as I watched them drive away.

I cried a lot...

In fact, I continued to cry every day for the entire first semester!! I was not a fan of college. It was far from my beautiful (and large) family.. from the friends that I'd known since childhood, and far from the boy I thought I would marry!! When I walked through the halls at CSP, I felt like the world had turned its back on me, for the lack of "hi!! "hello!! how are you?!" as it had been high school. No one knew who I was, no one could pronounce my last name.. A name that, in DeWitt and the surrounding towns, everyone knew.. sometimes a blessing, other times a curse! but this was the time in life when I realized how endearing it was to have roots that run deep and how amazing small communities are!

I felt like a minnow in an ocean, lost and alone. I begged my mom to let me quit and move home after my first semester when I was back for break, but she wouldn't let me. =) I needed to "get the full college experience." She somehow caught wind of the spring play auditions for The Rimers of Eldrich," and encouraged me to try out.. So I did, and I got a part, "lena." ha.. ironically, this dark and twisted play was the beginning of my falling in love with Concordia and St. Paul. :) I grew into a fish.. and along with my fellow once-minnows, began to find my way around this crazy big ocean... that has since become like a shore of safety. I've never looked back with anything but amazement, thankfulness, delight, and nostalgia. Thanks mom.. and my fellow once-minnows! :)

So, it seems its time. I suspect that God has a lot to teach me in California, and beyond... I know that a beautiful community of people await my arrival. I know that I'll forever be grateful for having an opportunity to once again live in the same state as one of my dearest friends. I know it won't be easy, in ways i cannot yet imagine, but I trust that as God always has, He will bless this adventure and continue to mold my heart, my life, my soul, into what it is He desires.

So.. its time for Laura to spread her grown-up wings..

but watch out for the falling of tears.

side note..

i'm not sure how to find all of you who've found me.. but thanks for the support and feedback... and for checking in!!! blogging certainly isn't my forte.. i'm not even sure how to add you all as "links." any tips?

the journey continues...

It's been a while since I've written... or looked at this blog. Time for an update, I suppose. In the midst of much contemplation, research, discussion, prayer, seeking, guidance, etc.. I've continued to realize that my heart is finding its home in the Catholic church. Its been an amazingly trying three years, with periods of feeling torn and times of embracing life as a Catholic-Lutheran. And now as I face the decision that needs to be made, though there have been things that have troubled me in regards to other peoples' perceptions of the catholic church, I am sure of what rings true in my heart and that, i am unable to deny. So, it is indeed official! I have decided to convert to Catholicism this Easter Vigil. Wow.. even after all of these years and discussions.. its still sounds a little crazy. Either way, anyone is welcome to attend the vigil the night before Easter, where myself and the others I've been taking RCIA classes with, will be confirmed. Thank you to all of you who have accompanied me on this journey, in prayer, discussion, encouragement, concern, etc..... it certainly hasn't been an easy road.. but your true companionship is greatly appreciated.


So.. I noticed in looking back on these blogs, that I never finished the story that I started in the "why catholic" post. :) I started to tell the Story about the catholic boy i dated for a few weeks who mentioned RCIA to me. ha! I scoffed at the mention of it.. and now, 3 years later, I find myself completing the class. what was so interesting, actually, i don't know if this had even happened when i started that blog.. but for RCIA, we had a service during mass called the Rite of Welcoming. At this service, the chuch officially welcomes us. We are prayed for, prayed over, and presented a Catholic Bible. Just before that service started, I walked to the back of the church to find my place in line. As I made my way back, who should I run into? None other than the catholic boy I had dated.. of whom I previously written. :) He was shocked to see me there.. and I him! But a sincerely large smile covered my face as I told him what I was doing at that church service. As a side note.. this wasn't even the church he normally atteneded. I was so excited to see him.. just because he planted a seed. He gave me a hug and said he'd be praying for me.. it was great.

Much love to you, my friends, during this Lenten season...