beautiful!!!

i'm editing this a few weeks later.. and i'm gonna pull a seth here ;) if you haven't read the blog just before this one, entitled, "stillness" you should do so before reading on, and it will have much greater meaning! :)

RCIA classes continue on even after we've been confirmed. now we are in the stage mystagogia (we continue to learn about the mysteries of Christ's death and resurrection, sacramental life, living the Gospel in daily life, and how performing works of service for others is a part of the living faith).

last night we reflected on the amazing easter vigil that took place saturday night. randy (our teacher) gave us the hand-out for the night, entitled, "The Lord Descends Into Hell: From an ancient homily on Holy Saturday," and read aloud the following paragraph:

Something strange is happening-- there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silent because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

WOW! i looked around the room, in shock, wondering if someone read my last blog in which i wrote about the strange peace and stillness i experienced saturday night!!! but no one there knows about my blog... and randy is the person who chooses these hand-outs and there is no way he knows about my blog! wow.. i was amazed.. but not surprised.... God has a funny way of surprising us and bringing comfort, doesn't He? :) sigh..

so just in case you pondered my sanity after reading the last blog.. which is understandable if you did =).. chalk that one up to the Spirit!!!! woo hoo!!! :)

stillness

life has come to a strange and peaceful halt. i was feeling the force of evil weighing in on me during this time of lent and of personal questioning, searching, and transition.

it felt like noise.

it felt like i had been running, unknowingly... and noise was pounding in on me, constantly pulling at me, trying to break me. when i realized i was running, i felt, in my weakness, as though I couldn't continue the run while fighting this strange and vague burden of gravity. But... just when i was feeling the noise to a degree in which i've never before experienced, as it was about to bring me to my knees, a breaking point, it stopped..

my world stopped.

the world around me is spinning..

but i am still.

there is noise, but i cannot hear it, i am silent.

i am surrounded by peaceful stillness.

i am taking it all in

i don't know exactly what is happening, or why...

but i await

in tears of relief

in silent peace,

the future....